The irony of the sticky spider trap.
There are a few different ways to control the spider population in your house. You no longer have to rely on stepping on them or squishing them in a Kleenex before flushing them down the toilet. One of the most effective contraptions on the market for spider killing is the sticky spider trap. If you haven't seen one of these, it's basically a large piece of cardboard that is coated in a super sticky substance and baited with a scent to attract spiders. The spider crawls on but can't crawl off. Then it slowly dies.
This sounds very familiar. Doesn't some other creature use this method to catch and kill other creatures? Could it be the spider with its super sticky web? Yes.
I have a few of these in my house and they work very well. So well that you will be creeped out by knowing how many spiders there actually are in your house. I have three. They've all caught over ten spiders each within a month of purchasing them.
Something I noticed while using these traps was the intense satisfaction I got from watching the spiders starve to death in a fashion similar to the insects they catch in their webs. For once they were the ones innocently minding their business until all of a sudden being captured in some hellish trap, waiting for inevitable death. They were now the poor fly squirming around uselessly while becoming stuck deeper and deeper.
Then I thought of something else. I'm a bit of an asshole for using these traps. If you think about why a spider makes a web in the first place, you'll realize it's to stay alive. The prey they catch is their food. Why am I catching spiders? Because they give me the creeps and I'm too lazy to go to the cold room and grab a jar to put the thing in and walk outside and fling it in the grass. I'm too scared to even stomp on them anymore. I want them to die, slowly if possible, and to not even have to watch it happen. One day I'll just collect the traps and toss the things, hundreds of dried up bodies and all, into the garbage. Then I can get back to doing things like driving to the grocery store to buy pre-killed animals to eat. Isn't it great that you can skip watching things die but still reap the benefits of their death!
It was after this realization I learned my lesson. It's cruel to let spiders die like that so I did the only thing I could. I made a compromise. Now I still use the traps, but I check them every once in a while. If I see a new spider, I grab my spider-pencil and stab the thing to death while it's writhing around in terror. The way I see it, I'm eliminating days and days of torture, thus solving the problem. This makes me feel good about myself. I consider myself a sort of altruist in the spider killing community.
If I ever let my conscience get to me I just think of this: what would a spider do if I were trapped in its web? In the grand scheme of things, my house is my web. If you're a scary creature, stay out or die painfully.
-Daniel Greene
This sounds very familiar. Doesn't some other creature use this method to catch and kill other creatures? Could it be the spider with its super sticky web? Yes.
I have a few of these in my house and they work very well. So well that you will be creeped out by knowing how many spiders there actually are in your house. I have three. They've all caught over ten spiders each within a month of purchasing them.
Something I noticed while using these traps was the intense satisfaction I got from watching the spiders starve to death in a fashion similar to the insects they catch in their webs. For once they were the ones innocently minding their business until all of a sudden being captured in some hellish trap, waiting for inevitable death. They were now the poor fly squirming around uselessly while becoming stuck deeper and deeper.
Then I thought of something else. I'm a bit of an asshole for using these traps. If you think about why a spider makes a web in the first place, you'll realize it's to stay alive. The prey they catch is their food. Why am I catching spiders? Because they give me the creeps and I'm too lazy to go to the cold room and grab a jar to put the thing in and walk outside and fling it in the grass. I'm too scared to even stomp on them anymore. I want them to die, slowly if possible, and to not even have to watch it happen. One day I'll just collect the traps and toss the things, hundreds of dried up bodies and all, into the garbage. Then I can get back to doing things like driving to the grocery store to buy pre-killed animals to eat. Isn't it great that you can skip watching things die but still reap the benefits of their death!
It was after this realization I learned my lesson. It's cruel to let spiders die like that so I did the only thing I could. I made a compromise. Now I still use the traps, but I check them every once in a while. If I see a new spider, I grab my spider-pencil and stab the thing to death while it's writhing around in terror. The way I see it, I'm eliminating days and days of torture, thus solving the problem. This makes me feel good about myself. I consider myself a sort of altruist in the spider killing community.
If I ever let my conscience get to me I just think of this: what would a spider do if I were trapped in its web? In the grand scheme of things, my house is my web. If you're a scary creature, stay out or die painfully.
-Daniel Greene
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