Daniel's 5 Tips for Beating the Rainy Day Blues

While Spring is a beautiful time of the year, full of life and unique seasonal wonders, it can also be a depressing bitch. After days of gloomy, dark, and rainy weather, it’s hard not to slip into a melancholy slump of torpor and self hate. You may find yourself reaching for creature comforts such as junk food, television, or hard liquor. That’s okay once in a while, but I’m here to enlighten you with some suggestions for less self-destructive pastimes that will make those wet, dreary days more tolerable. 

#1) Fun with household objects

Remember those forts you used to build when you were a kid? Why not build one as an adult? Simply tip over all the furniture in your living room and drape the largest bed sheet you have over it all! You’ll need to secure the sheets to the floor somehow in order to make the ceiling for the fort. I suggest using kitchen knives as makeshift tent stakes. Start with one corner of the blanket. Secure it to the floor by stabbing the knife clean through the fabric into your floor (hardwood floors may require extra elbow grease in order to get a strong hold). Continue this process all around the fort ensuring you pull the fabric taught each time (loose fabric will make your fort a total bummer). Once set up, turn out all the lights in your house and take a flashlight into the fort. Journey through your maze of overturned furniture with your flashlight and pretend you’re in a cave or something. When you get bored of this, you could always take some food in there and watch Netflix on your laptop. Another fun idea would be drinking hard liquor in your fort. 

#2) Do some cooking

Cooking by yourself can be a fun way to pass the time when the outside world looks bleaker than your own future. Try something new! Dust off one of your old cookbooks and find a recipe you’ve never tried. Oh look! A recipe for ratatouille, that’s perfect. I’ve always wanted to try that. Oh wait…does that say eggplant? I don’t think I have any of that.

Nope, I don’t. Oh well, I’ll just make a quick trip to the supermarket! 

Oh wait… I’m drunk from all that hard liquor I consumed in my fort. Fuck.

#3) Indoor activities

You’d be surprised at how much fun you can have in your own house. A simple activity such as listening to music can be loads of fun! Take a look through that old stack of records and just pick something at random. You’re bound to find an album you’ve long forgotten about. Like this one here! The best of the Sex Pistols. Ha, that’s funny. The last time I listened to that album was when Allison gave it back to me after our break up. We used to listen to that so much. Our favourite song was ‘God Save the Queen’. I miss her so much. Why did I let her go! I can’t believe I told her I needed some space! I was such an idiot! Dammit, I can’t listen to this. I can’t do anything right. I’m just a pitiful used car salesman. She wouldn’t want to be with me anyway. She deserves better than me. I’m so lonely and afraid.

#4) See how drunk you can get in your fort

#5) Leave Allison a bunch of sad, sobbing voicemails asking for her to take you back. When she doesn’t answer after five or six calls, go outside and start running to nowhere in particular in the pouring rain. Take your shirt off, leave it on, it doesn’t matter. Just as long as you yell her name as you struggle to see out of your wet, fogged up glasses. Seeing as you’ve had a lot of liquor, you’ll need to vomit behind those bushes pretty soon

-Daniel Greene