Meet Clever

"Send in Max Greenwood, Cheryl." The secretary opens the door and I step into my boss's office trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. "Mr. Greenwood, take a seat.  We just have a few things to discuss."  He opens a folder with my name on it and whistles, simultaneously raising his eyebrows.  I sit down awkwardly with my hands folded in my lap.  "Greenwood, Greenwood, Greenwood... I don't like this.  No I do not." "Sir, I'm sorry if I've done something-" "Oh it's just I hear, from general sources, you've been taking some unapproved breaks."  He cuts me off mid sentence.  "Umm, tell me about your life at home." I pause and look at him inquisitively. "Not much to say.  Wife's good.  I, uh, I'm healthy.  Happy." My boss gives me a disgusted grin.  "Nice and healthy, I hope.  Rested, too, I'm guessing.  Tell me about these breaks you've been taking in ...

There are few foods that require no hands to eat.  There are grapes, I guess, where you can walk under the vine and grab them with your teeth.  Anything growing on a tree or shrub is possibly hands free, actually, but what I'm talking about is the food you eat at home or at a restaurant. The number of hands needed depends on the food.  Sometimes its easy to judge the number of hands you'll need. Example #1)  A steak.  Hand #1: Fork.  Hand #2: Knife. Example #2)  An apple.  Hand #1: Holds the apple. Where we run into big problems is failing to realize the needed number of hands.  There are many foods where, at first glance, the number of hands needed is ambiguous. Example #1)  Big sandwich. Example #2)  Half a cup of salted peanuts.  (The ambiguity here being, do I cup them in one hand and pick each peanut up one by one with the other or do I roll them into my mouth, one handed, with skill a...